Murphy's laws on divorce

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Reason for divorce

Maybe someone does not know this, but the main reason for divorce is marriage.

Beginning, middle and end

If the middle were as good as the beginning, the marriage would never come to an end.

Alternative to divorce

The decision to divorce does not seem all that bad when you consider the alternative: murder.

50/50 layout

Fifty percent of all married couples get divorced. The other 50 percent are still swearing.

Different meetings

The less they meet before the wedding, the more they meet in court.

A Brief Instruction on Friendly Means

There are no friendly divorces in nature.

It's time to get divorced

If the wife begins to feel like a new person, then it is time for a divorce.

Dishwasher wisdom

The best way to get rid of your worn out, old dishwasher is to divorce her.

The rationale behind divorce

1. If he married you for the sake of having children, he will divorce you because you devote too much time to them.

2. If he married you because of your figure, he will divorce you as soon as it starts to blur.

3. If he married you because of your brilliant conversation skills, he will divorce you because he will not be able to keep your long tongue behind his teeth.

4. If he married you because of your intelligence, he will divorce you because of your omniscience.

5. If he married you, admiring your ability to delve into all the little things, he will divorce you, because you will become for him a "creepy nitpick" and "specialist in catching fleas."

6. If he married you because you understand him, he will divorce you because you understand him too well.

7. If he married you because of your sexuality, he will divorce you because of your insatiable sexual appetite.

Youth factor

The younger you were when you got married, the younger you will be when you divorce.

Divorce doctrine

Divorce is a perfectly legal way to continue a relationship that you have not been able to handle.

The respect factor

Divorces are much more pleasant and work out much better if you treat this dumb and worthless person with respect.

Moaning when parting

On the very day that you finally decide to leave this person, he has a heart attack, and he urgently needs your vigilant attention and care.

The anger factor

The more angry you get, the bigger the bill from your lawyer will be, as well as your legal fees.

Axiom of elements

Alimony is what you expect to get, excrement is what you get, and for sure.

The cost of living

The cost of living for two people living alone is almost double the cost of the same two people living together.

The "have or not have" rule

After you, with all the meticulousness, equally share all your assets and capital with your ex-spouse, it will turn out that you personally have mere pennies left, which you can barely get on from bread to water.

Winners and losers verdict

The only winners in a divorce case are lawyers.


Any conversations aren't worth a penny ... except for your heart-to-heart conversations with your divorce attorney.

Watch the video: hate5six Murphys Law - July 30, 2017

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